How To Heal Shame Wound
(blog post #3/11)
Welcome, back love! This blog post, part of our ongoing series on core wound healing, inner child healing, and spiritual growth, will focus on the ‘shame’ wound. If you're new to our journey, visit our previous posts to learn more about core wounds and their origins:
Today, I’ll share how self-love can help us overcome shame and deepen our spiritual growth.
The shame wound can leave us feeling inadequate, unworthy, and exposed. Know that I'm here to support you as we work together to overcome these feelings and step into your authentic, self-loving self. If you're uncertain whether you carry the shame wound, ask yourself: Do I frequently experience feelings of inadequacy, humiliation, or rejection? Do I struggle with my body image or tend to be highly self-critical? Do I struggle to express myself or struggle with social anxiety?
If so, shame is likely this is a wound you carry. However, it may not be your "Core Wound." A core wound is the one that impacts you the most in your life today, causing recurrent patterns and challenges in your relationships, career, health, and overall well-being. To determine if SHAME is your core wound, take this core wound quiz here.
WHY IT’S IMPORTANT TO FOCUS ON HEALING YOUR CORE WOUND FIRST:
1. Maximize healing impact: By addressing the wound that currently impacts you, you'll experience the most significant improvements in your overall well-being and relationships. This progress can provide the motivation and momentum to continue your healing journey and tackle other wounds.
2. Clear a path for healing other wounds: As you heal your core wound, you'll develop the skills, insights, and resilience necessary to address other wounds more effectively. Healing your core wound is a solid foundation for continued growth and healing.
3. Gain clarity and direction: Identifying your core wound offers a roadmap for your healing journey, helping you understand the patterns and triggers holding you back. This awareness allows you to set clearer goals and track your progress more effectively.
4. Prevent overwhelm: Healing multiple wounds simultaneously can be overwhelming and may lead to burnout or discouragement. By prioritizing your core wound, you can maintain focus, avoid spreading yourself too thin, and ensure that you're making meaningful strides in your healing process.
If you’re ready, I invite you to follow these steps to begin your inner child healing journey:
STEP BY STEP: HOW TO HEAL SHAME CORE WOUNDS
Step 1: Identify Shame Patterns
Healing begins with self-awareness. As you cultivate mindfulness of your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, observe moments when you feel inadequate, exposed, or struggle with self-expression. These patterns indicate that your shame wound requires attention and healing. I encourage you to keep a daily journal to track these experiences and start a mindfulness meditation practice if you haven't already (check out my meditations on Insight Timer here). These tools will help you deepen your understanding of your inner world and better manage your emotions as you embark on your healing journey.
Step 2: Identify Subpersonalities
Explore your inner system by asking these questions for each subpersonality:
Which emotions or behaviors arise when you feel ashamed? (e.g., withdrawing from social situations, obsessing over how I look, etc. )
What triggers strong reactions, causing you to retreat or feel inadequate? (e.g., receiving criticism, making a mistake, etc)
What name would you give this part of yourself? (e.g., The Retreater )
Discovering your subpersonalities is a journey, so I invite you to be kind to yourself as you take the time to name and understand these parts of you. Tracking your patterns in Step 1 will make a big impact on helping you identify parts more easily.
Step 3: Self-Compassion
Explore the Pathway Back to Love Process– I created this to help you practice self-care when you’re feeling emotionally dysregulated and want to soothe your inner parts system: close your eyes, place one hand over your heart, and:
Acknowledge:” Parts of me are active, and that's okay”
State to yourself “ Emotions are temporary waves in the ocean of who I am”
State to yourself “ I choose to be kind and love myself through this” (or choose your compassionate phrase)
Step 4: Activate One of the Seven Soul Qualities
Healing core wounds involves activating the Seven Soul Qualities. They are Peace, Love, Joy, Freedom, Trust, Courage, and Power. I invite you to choose just one to help you track progress toward expanding this quality within you, when you start to feel a sense of this quality within and are taking action from that quality, feel free to choose another to expand upon. Soul Qualities are like portals, one often invokes another:
For shame, you might choose to focus on Love or Freedom - but please do choose one that you most want to cultivate within and ask yourself, how might I bring this quality to my day? (lead with your intuition!)
Freedom: To cultivate inner freedom and overcome shame, engage in a thought-watching activity. Find a quiet space to sit comfortably with your eyes closed, and relax your body and mind with deep breaths. Set the intention to observe your thoughts and emotions without judgment, picturing yourself as an impartial witness. Notice any shame-related thoughts and visualize them as passing clouds or waves. Ask yourself, "Where will my next thought come from?" to maintain curiosity and openness. Allow your awareness to expand, noticing other sensations and thoughts while gently redirecting your focus if needed. Practice this exercise for 10-15 minutes (or as long as possible).
Love: Find a comfortable position, close your eyes, and relax your body with deep breaths. Visualize a warm, loving energy surrounding you. As you inhale, repeat a positive affirmation, such as "I am worthy and loved," and exhale a critical belief (“I’m not good enough” “I’m flawed” etc) If you get stuck, you might try to recall a moment when you felt loved and supported by someone you care about. Imagine embracing yourself with the same love and acceptance they would give you. Practice this exercise for 10-15 minutes (or as long as possible).
Alternatively, you might tap into a memory where you felt your chosen Soul quality distinctly- visualize that experience - how might you channel that strength now?
Step 5: The Akashic Core Wound Method
Once you've gained insight into your inner parts system and cultivated self-compassion, I invite you to join me on the Akashic Core Wound Healing Journey. The Akashic Records are a spiritual realm containing a vibrational record of every soul's journey throughout time. Accessing these records can provide insights and healing for our core wounds. Through the Akashic Core Wound journey, I invite you to focus on healing your shame wound- but not until you have focused on the steps before and feel that you are gaining insight into your inner parts system and compassion for yourself. And please note: There is no time limit on this, everyone’s journey will be different!
(CORE WOUND HEALING GUIDEBOOK HERE WHICH INCLUDES MEDITATION)
“Next Steps on Your Core Wound Healing Journey: As we wrap up, I invite you to lead with curiosity – healing core wounds is a transformative journey but it also requires patience, self-love, and awareness building of your inner patterns. Please do be gentle with yourself– I truly encourage you to celebrate every small victory along the way– they all matter! Each step brings you closer to living an empowered and authentic life, true to your Soul’s mission. ”
Please share your experiences, insights, and questions in the comments below, as we support one another on this healing path.
Stay tuned for blog post #4, where I will guide you through healing abandonment wounds.
Also quick note: I have a new book coming out this year that provides the full map for your core wound healing journey, all in one place with exercises and guidance to help you make momentum forward on your core wound healing path. I invite you to click this link below to join the book interest list, to be the first to receive exciting goodies alongside the book, as well as when the release date is:
Please do share in the comments any insights you’ve gained or what you’re excited about, I’d love to hear from you!
